spontaneous birthings
head fluff when illuminated can reveal some very special thingsArchive for travel
future preview
Having an intimate glimpse of a possible future has spurred travel plans and other long-desired adventures. My sister and niece’s stay with me this past weekend was a busy, exhausting experience of which I loved every second. It was a preview of motherhood and chasing a 1-year-old around making sure nothing choke-worthy entered her mouth.
It was proof that I am not ready, (emotionally, physically, or financially) for such a child-dominated life. I am still selfish, focused on my advanced education and strengthening of my mental and physical abilities through TKD. I enjoy peaceful quiet and solitude (sometimes too much) and being able to quickly find keys, shoes and other necessary objects that can be hidden for hours from little hands tossing them under beds or behind couch cushions. I like being in control of my life and plan accordingly. Motherhood defies self control; it is the child who has the wheel.
But now that my apartment is empty of baby babble and bits of breakfast on the floor, I miss the mess and the thumps of Lani falling to the floor when she loses her balance. I miss having someone to watch over, to care for, to act silly for. Is this the best part of motherhood?
Suddenly, I feel an urge to fulfill some of my longest goals like travel to different parts of the world. This morning I looked up flights to Germany to visit my high-school friend who has been living there the past couple of years and who I’ve promised I’d visit. I will soon be 27 and who knows how quickly my future will change.
If I’ve learned anything this past weekend, it is more than an understanding of what my sister’s life is like as a mother. It’s strengthened my goals and the things I want to accomplish and has me prepared for a future that I certainly am excited to experience.
notes from san diego
I was only in San Diego for 4 full days, and yet, I was able to collect enough hearty, feel-good-ness to last me a month. Being reunited with a childhood friend for a few days rejuvenates the spirit. And when you can both share in the wonderful effects of cheese, then even greater lessons are learned.
You can watch Madagascar, laugh out loud, and not feel ashamed about it. You can watch it with your friend and revel in the fact that it gets better with multiple viewings.
Here in DC, you drink coffee to wake up. In San Diego, you drink coffee for the sake of coffee-drinking and all of the daydreaming that is allowed when sitting on a wooden deck, overlooking a lush, homemade garden. You watch a lotus flower at the center of a small brook as it opens its arms at daybreak and goes to sleep at night.
You eat burritos and steak and more burritos and more steak because you don’t worry about getting fat. There is no room to worry when your belly is full. There is, however, always room for cake.
You go to the zoo even though you don’t have any kids. And you laugh and point at the monkeys, coo at the baby monkeys, and giggle when a boy yells “What are they doing?” when he notices an unabashed pair procreating (who the adults had been watching but wouldn’t dare to comment). And you laugh loudly because you wanted to all along.
You notice how the attraction to feel-good cheese grows stronger the more you age. You notice because you see it happening to your friend. And that makes you smile even bigger.
